When to Ask
by DiamondHeart31
Summary: John and Jane thoughts through out the movie, particulary as they try and ask the big question, 'Do we want kids'
1. Do I Want Any?

Hiya people! I don't really know what to say here . . . I know! I'll introduce you to my muse!

KIKI: NO! I don't want to start listening to you B at me.

Wow. You know what the scariest part of my muse it? I've honestly never known her to be this nice to me. Or anyone for that matter.

**'Kay. This is my first Mr. and Mrs. Smith fic, so be nice. It's weird, and kind of hard to understand for the first chapter, but yeah.**

**Disclaimer: I pledge allegiance to Mr. and Mrs. Smith. And to the genius of which this movie stands, one coolness, under awesome . . . blah blah blah. You get the idea.**

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**AFTER THE PARTY AT THE COLEMAN'S:**

_**Jane's POV:**_

_Sometimes, I hate children._

_And, interestingly enough, what I hate most about them is what most people love about them. As usual. To me, they're things I just don't need to waste my time on 24/7. Things that get in the way of me doing my job._

I huff quietly at the thought of how much time I'd have to waste.

_I hate the way they look up at me and smile, like every thing in the world is good and fun; they don't know what it's like to watch your parents die. And I hate the way they're so dependent; I had to learn to take care of myself before most children can read. But most of all, I hate the way they cry over everything; they don't know what real pain is. What real fear and loneliness is. As far as I'm concerned, they have no right to cry as though they're dying. They could cry if they thought it was necessary, I'm not so cold as to say no to that, but they cry for _attention_ not from pain! And that is just unacceptable._

I pulled my dress over my head and started putting on my nice silky pajamas. I stared at the material and began to think of all the things a little kid could wind up doing to it.

_Plus they're disgusting. Burping out their food, crapping in their pants, slobbering all over themselves, not to mention the way they just can't understand that every time they decide to smear themselves in mud or food someone was going to have to wash them. Someone who might not appreciate that all over themselves as well._

Damn these buttons! Why do they always have to be so frickin' small? I can barely button them.

_Now, I'm not heartless. I understand something's small children can't help. Like letting loose in their pants. But when a child is old enough to know that their pants aren't the acceptable port-a-potty anymore and still do it, that just sickens me. Especially when their parents try to cover it up and say the child can't help it. They're just a very _stressed_ child. What do they have to be stressed about? Their parents give them everything, they're probably one of the richest kids in their school! Maybe the child can't help it because they're always saying it's okay and normal. You don't have to tell the child it's weird, but at least do him or her the favor of trying a little harder to have them use the toilet without just changing their pants and smiling about it. That just shows they can do it again and it doesn't bother anyone. When in truth, it just makes everyone want to throw up._

A soft sigh escaped my lips. Just why, I have no idea.

_So why is it, that with all the hate I have for small children, did I feel something strange when I held that baby earlier? _

A frown fluttered across my face briefly.

_It's like a dull throb in my heart really. My stomach tightened in a way that reminded me a lot of when I first met John._

I smiled at _that_ memory. For all that John hated to dance, he really was quiet good at it. Very romantic and passionate about it. Got her in bed within a few hours. And that was saying something. she was pretty much considered a 'prude,' back then, even with all the flirting she did, she never slept with anyone. Not even a target. Especially not a target. That's probably why Jasmine was so worried when she found out just how far my relationship with John was going.

_But it was a completely different feeling. While my feeling back then had been a little odd and a bit pleasant, my feeling when I held the girl had been almost painful in a way I can't describe._

A flash of worry passed over my face as I thought about what happened.

_And when the child's mother had reached to take the baby back, I had, almost unnoticeably, tightened my hold. For a brief second, after the girl had smiled at me, I felt a possessiveness over the child. I felt almost like I wanted . . ._

_NO. I hate children._

I shook my head fiercely and walked into the bathroom. Just my luck. John was in there.

_Teenagers are the worst._

_I hate the way they whine like their whole world is ending. They don't know what real loss is. I hate the way they pour out everything that goes 'wrong,' in their lives. I was being trained to be an assassin while they were whining that they weren't allowed to go to the mall that weekend. But most of all, I hate the way they act as though they can do anything. They don't seem to realize that maybe they _could_ die. I'm living proof of that._

The silence between us is awkward. It always is nowadays.

_Still. . . when I held that little girl. . . It just felt so . . . right._

_But that had to be wrong._

_I mean, I hate children. . ._

I took a quick, sidelong glance at John.

If John want's some he'd tell me. And I'd tell him 'no.'

_Right. . . . . ?_

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_**John's POV:**_

_I'm lost._

_Jane's never shown any interest in children, so I assumed she didn't want any. But earlier, when she held that baby, she looked down. . . Away from me. . . like she was ashamed about something. . ._

_To be honest, I've never really thought about children._

_And it's not like I hate them. I just don't really like them. I mean, when I'm around a kid I just sort of feel awkward. _

_They look up at me like they expect something. God knows I don't know what that could be. Candy? A toy on the shelf? I mean, give me some sort of clue here._

A low growl escaped my throat as I thought about how lost I felt around a kid.

_But as for having kids, that just never really ran through my mind._

Just then, Jane walked in wearing pajamas that left a lot to be desired. Pink really wasn't her color. John sighed, wishing she still wore all those dark, revealing clothes she used to wear to bed.

_You sometimes read corny love stories where someone's either, 'I want to have your baby,' or 'I want you to have my child.' At first, before I met Jane, I thought that when you fell in love you would want kids with that person. Of course now that I'm married I know that isn't necessarily true, but still. . ._

I looked up at Jane.

_Maybe Jane wants some. . .?_

I went back to clipping my nails.

_I've never really asked._

_Maybe I should. If she says no then there's no problem. If she says yes, I'll just think about it. I mean, we're married. And besides, would having kids be that bad? Someone to greet me when I come home, someone to spoil . . . All I really need to do is ask. Either way, no harm done._

I looked up at her and mumbled softly,

"I like your dress tonight. . . It was nice."

_I did not just say that._

She looked at me through the mirror for a second.

"Thank you,"

_I am such a wuss._

I looked up again, took a breath . . . And went back to clipping my nails.

_Maybe . . . Maybe I'll ask tomorrow night. At dinner._

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Well? What do you think? I had to start here for reasons that will become clear later on. I know this is OOC, but to make my idea work, it needs to be.

Well,

_**REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW**_

See ya!

Lil' Pup out.


	2. Damn Them!

Hiya people! Well, I had over 70 hits but only 2 reviews for the last chapter. Come on people, you can do better than that, can't you? I know you can. Because your all smart, and kind people.

. . .Okay, sucking up isn't going to get me anywhere is it?

**KIKI: Bitch, with the way you look, you could do whatever someone tells you to for several incarnations, and** **still** **wouldn't get any sort of positive response**

Well, aren't you Little Miss Sunshine today?

**KIKI: Shut up! You have no idea what's happened to me!**

. . .Well, what happened?

**KIKI: Nothing really. Just wanted to waste a few lines.**

Oh. By the way, you look nice today.

**KIKI: Disclaimer?**

Disclaimer.

**DISCLAIMER: I'd like, totally love to say this was, like, my bitchy mistress', but ugh, it's like, not, so like, yeah.**

Funny.

**KIKI: I know**

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**AFTER THE RUN-OVER-JOHN INCIDENT:**

**I-TEMP:**

**JANE'S POV:**

_God, that bastard!_

_Running after me to get a good shot! I should have just killed him at home. Hit him over the head with the wine to knock him out, then bring out the gun. _

_But _no_, I just dropped the frickin' bottle all over my beautiful rug (ON PURPOSE!) and run like an immature amateur who just forgot how to fuckin' think!_

I close my eyes and sigh. I seem to be doing that a lot lately.

_And to think. All that effort I put in to dinner tonight. . . Well, making it look nice in any case. . ._

DAMMIT, I already drank all the damn alcohol. I should be too drunk to even remember who I am, but apparently, I'm sober enough that I can still think about something so _fucking _infuriating as that bastard, AND how much effort I put on to decorate some damn food Jasmine made!

_I was actually going to ask him tonight. I was actually going to ask him if he wanted . . ._

I bang my head against the floor lightly.

_It doesn't matter. This actually works to my advantage. I didn't want any kids, and now I don't have to worry if my husband does._

_It's like I said earlier. Kids are a waste of time, money, and energy. I didn't want any._

_And even if I did, the only person I would want them with is. . ._

_GOD NO! I don't want some sorry little excuse of a human being running around me, and I don't need a husband._

_Still . . . I can't help but wonder if John's all right . . ._

_THE HELL? WHY AM I STILL WORRYING ABOUT HIM? HE TRIED TO SHOOT ME!_

_YOU DON'T LOVE HIM!_

_YOU DON'T LOVE HIM!_

"You _don't_ love him," the words seem to just hang there.

Cold, empty, and painful, as if waiting for me to contradict them.

But the thing is, there's nothing to contradict.

John doesn't love me, so I don't love John.

_And that's all there is to it._

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**EDDY'S HOUSE:**

**JOHN'S POV:**

_What the hell just happened tonight?_

_I go from eating with my obviously flirting wife, to chasing her with a gun, to almost getting run over for an accident, to spending a few seconds flying in the car that nearly ran me over, to walking several miles to Eddy's, then listening to him talk about her potentially cheating on me, to being so angry I really _do _want to kill her, to now sleeping in this trashy thing called Eddy's House._

I need some more alcohol. Wonder where Eddy keeps it. . .?

_I can't believe I almost shot her. And I can't believe she tried to run me over! I mean, shooting at her was an accident. Running over me, was not._

_. . .Still. . . I wonder if I hit her at all. . . hope not. . . If I did, I can understand if she decided running over me was a good idea._

_I just wonder if she would have felt bad about it if I had died. . ._

_. . . Probably not. . ._

_The bitch is probably laughing it up like Eddy said. Either that, or cussing herself out for not finishing the job right there._

I breathe quietly at the thought. I'd forgotten about the job.

_I don't think. . . I could just kill Jane like all the other fifty or sixty some people. . ._

Sure Jane can be a bitch, a lot more of one than I realized until tonight, but she's still my wife. And I did swear to stand by her through thick and thin.

_And this is definitely thick. . . . or thin. . . . . _

_Whichever one it is, it's still bad._

Still, I can't believe that bitch just tried to run me over! Just like that! Like our five years of marriage didn't matter!

_**"SIX, JOHN. SIX."**_

I jumped so high I momentarily fell off the couch.

_Dear Lord! Don't tell me I'm stuck with her in my head for all eternity! God please, any punishment than that! Those sixty some people deserved to die! You can't blame me for their actions! Not this, please!_

I climbed back into the couch and sighed. Again. This was getting old.

_Jane keeps acting like she's the only one in the world with problems. Please, how does she think I became an assassin? Going out and picking daises while having tea with my friends? Come on. She should know you have to have either shown _exceptional_ talent that could help you, or you have to have had a run in with the company at a young age._

_I wonder what got her into it. . ._

_Well, I suppose in some cases if you have family in there you could jump into training. That's _sort _of how I got in._

I sigh _again._ I lost my older brother to a situation a lot like this.

His wife (who was not an assassin where as he was), found out and started causing problems. The company ordered him to kill her. Rather than obey, he chose to run with her. He didn't get far.

At seven years old I witnessed his murder. A different company found me the next day near their corpses. What they were doing there I had no idea, but I didn't care. I don't even remember what happened after that.

_But I remember swearing I would never wind up like my brother. I had a problem, I fight it. Jane may be my wife, but killing is my job. My brother allowed his wife to live even after she betrayed him and look what happened to him._

I sit up on the couch.

_I . . . I was gonna ask her tonight if she wanted. . . I hadn't thought I would find out. . ._

_I can't seem to. . . _

"Night John!"

_I . . .I want kids. . ._

"Night Eddy."

_and I want them with Jane. . ._

_God, I've only been thinking about this for one day and already I know. . ._

_It's not fucking _fair!_ I finally get ready to ask Jane if she wants some kids and what the hell happens? We try to fucking _kill _each other before I can even come out with it._

"Night Mom!"

_I don't want to kill her. . ._

I laid back and close my eyes.

_But I will if she forces me too._

_Because if she doesn't love me, I don't need to love her._

I pulled the covers to my chin.

_After all, an eye for an-_

_WHAT THE HELL?_

_AHH, GROSS, WHAT IS THAT SMELL?_

_SICK, IT'S ON MY FINGERS, AWW _NASTY

_UGHH!_

I threw the covers off quickly. Then I just lay back down and sigh again.

_Jane. . . It's all on you Sweetheart._

_What do love more? Me, or your job?_

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Sorry, that was a really stupid chapter. I just couldn't get John's part right, and it completely threw me off. Deeply Darkly helped a lot, I got a lot closer to what I was going for in this chapter, but even with all her help I couldn't quiet get John to go along with it.

I originally had this annoyingly long story about John witnessing his brother's death, but then when I finished it I realized it took too much away from the original story line and would make you guys think that my own guy, James, was an important character. Really he was pretty minor, but he played a huge part in John's thinking, and I needed a reason as to why John thinks the way he does.

Not to mention I didn't really talk about the kids thing much, which is really stupid because that's what I'm writing the story about.

So yeah, sorry for the stupid chapter. And the long authors note too.

See ya!

Lil' Pup out.


	3. Chapter 3

Hiya Peoples!

For all you people who have patiently waited for me to update my stories, I apologize and thank you.

I have a valid excuse for it. Well, It may not seem valid to you, but to me it really is.

You see, when summer came around I couldn't update because my computer at home didn't allow an extra window to pop up, which wouldn't let me update without. Then school came along, where I usually update. But the floppy I used to bring the stories to school stayed in my backpack all summer and wound up broken by the time I remembered to pull it out. I managed to get a new floppy, but my mom decided to move my computer downstairs.

That my not seem like a big deal to you, but when she moved my computer downstairs all the chapters I worked on over the summer where erased, and I am not allowed to turn it on 'till she gets the computer disk she needs.

For my **_When to Ask_** readers: I will update when the computer is fixed and I rewrite the chapters. There are only about three or four left. ( oh, and for the Brangelina group, the website didn't go through the review, so please send it to my e-mail)

For my **_Life's Struggles_** readers: Again, I will update when I can, not before.

I would happily write my stories at school, but I only have about two minutes to write each day. It's taken me about four days just to write this.

Well, until next time my **_OH SO LOYAL READERS!!!_**

See ya!

Lil' Pup out.


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